I Teach CPR Everyday... Here's What Scares Me the Most

I teach CPR every day. I teach people what to do when someone’s heart stops, how to recognize cardiac arrest, how to perform good-quality compressions, and how to use an AED. I’ve practiced these skills more times than I could possibly count.

But that doesn’t mean cardiac arrest doesn’t scare me.

In fact, there are a few scenarios that scare the hell out of me.

What If It’s Someone I Love?

This is probably the first thing that comes to mind. It’s one thing to kneel beside a manikin in a classroom and go through the steps. It’s another thing entirely to imagine looking down and seeing the face of one of my children, grandchildren, family members, or friends.

I know what to do. I know my training would kick in. But knowing the steps doesn’t make you stop loving the person lying in front of you. It doesn’t make you immune to panic, fear, or the desperate need for this to work.

What If There’s No AED?

I notice AEDs everywhere I go.

I walk into a restaurant, store, school, gym, or public building and notice whether there’s one on the wall. I notice where it is. And I definitely notice when I don’t see one.

CPR can keep blood circulating, but some cardiac arrest rhythms need a shock from an AED. The thought of knowing exactly what could potentially help the person in front of me—and not having access to it—is terrifying.

What If It’s Just Me?

Good CPR is exhausting.

There’s a reason we teach rescuers to switch compressors about every two minutes when another person is available. Now imagine doing those compressions alone while waiting for EMS.

No one to take over. No one to give your arms a break. Just you, knowing you have to keep going.

Would I be exhausted? Absolutely.

Would I keep going? Absolutely.

Does the thought still scare me? Absolutely.

And Then There’s the One That Scares Me Most

What if I do everything right…and I still can’t bring them back?

This is something I wish more people understood about CPR.

CPR is not magic.

You can recognize cardiac arrest immediately. You can call 911. You can start excellent compressions. You can get an AED. You can do everything exactly the way you were trained to do it.

And that person still may not survive.

That’s a hard reality.

CPR Doesn't Give Me Control

Teaching CPR every day doesn't give me the ability to control the outcome.

What it gives me is the ability to respond.

My job isn't to guarantee that someone survives. My job is to recognize what is happening, call for help, start CPR, use an AED if one is available, and give that person the best chance I possibly can until EMS arrives.

And that's exactly what I want my students to understand.

Being Trained Doesn't Mean Being Fearless

I hope I never have to perform CPR on someone I love.

I hope there’s always an AED nearby.

I hope there’s always another person there to help me.

And I hope that everytime I do CPR, the person survives.

But I can't control any of those things.

What I can control is whether I'm prepared.

And that's what I want for every person who walks into one of my classes. Not perfection. Not fearlessness. Just the knowledge and confidence to step forward and try.

Because when someone’s heart stops, you don't have to know how the story is going to end before you start helping.

You just have to start.